But life can get pretty screwed up. Especially in INTEC.
This summer, I was proudly introduced to an life-changing rascal by the name Calculus. Her exterior is rather fat in relative terms. And f***ing heavy too. Not the ideal friend one has in mind right?
We started off pretty rough. Our first few dates didn’t go that well. I was too pushy I guess. But like a fair share of relationships, love sprung unexpectedly. I melted at heart and in the midst of absolute “lovey-dovey” blurness, we decided to stay committed.
BAD CHOICE.
She’s freaking demanding and has a ferocious appetite for attention. It wasn’t good enough that I willingly spent my first few hours dating her. She demanded for more. And as a gentleman (AHERM), I gave in. Soon from 2 hours stretched to 7. It drove me nuts. Even sex doesn’t take that long!
But the thing that wrenched an axe to my heart was the fact that she had been multiple-timing me all along. I spotted her dating several of my classmates. EVEN MY ROOMMATES WERE INVOLVED!! Male and female alike.
Ewww…….she’s definitely bi. But I digress.
Her name was floating in the air, captivating the minds of innocent adolescence, purging them to an eternal vituperative lashes of zombiefy-ing moments. She was the reason for everything. Every rush, every tears, every stress, every pain….. So ubiquitous the name is, exemplifying Shakespeare’s ”What’s in a name?” mystique.
—
SCENE 1
(approaching a friend)
JW: HEY! You free or not this evening?
Friend: err….no…cannot lah…really cannot
JW: Eh? Why la?
Friend: Calculus
SCENE 2
(during dinner at Pak Li)
JW : Gosh…why lah you eating so fast? You wanna die early is it?
Friend: Calculus.
SCENE 3
(examining my friend’s face)
JW: Gosh! Pimples a lot already lah!!
Friend: Calculus.
SCENE 4
(during calculus class when the air condition broke down)
Lecturer: Why is the class so hot? *wiping sweat*
JW: Calculus
SCENE 5
(In the car with a friend)
JW: WEI! Drive carefully lah! You wanna get us all killed is it?? That’s a freaking bus man!
Friend: Sorry man! Sorry…..haish…calculus quiz this morning.
SCENE 6
(walking into the library, seeing a group of friends industriously studying away)
JW: Eh! What la you people studying??
Friends: *in unison* Calculus
wtf
—
Calculus is the “WORD” in American Degree Foundation Program. It even deserves the same pedestal as the all time infamous ‘Four Letter Word’. It’s a word that summarizes everything so effectively, leaving the persona with so little to explain. It’s highly versatile in usage. It’s an adjective, noun, adverb, verb etc.
Here are some few examples:
Verb: I am calculus-ing!!
Meaning: DON’T FREAKING DISTURB ME YOU CRAP POT!! CAN’T YOU SEE THAT I’M BUSY! I’LL BLAST YOUR BALLS IF YOU DO THAT AGAIN!!
Noun: This is calculus
Meaning: You are in deep shit man. Expect the worse…..
Adjective: Gosh….calculus….
Meaning: Feeling perplex, insomniac, confused, lost, blur, tormented….. (pick one…on second thoughts..you can have all as well)
—
I wonder what would life be without calculus…..Quiz every Friday, Test next Tuesday……
Alright, gotta go to 7-11 to get some contraceptives.
Cause tonight, calculus and I are getting intimate.
DAMN YOU
~this was taken from my friend's blog..hehe..http://ourcoffeestops.com/
~hui theng~
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